Not only confusion but it can have a real influence on the bottom line of the organisation. Ensure that irrelevant and wrong sentences do not appear in your written communications.
Writing 2 - Exercise 1
Letter 1 – Thank you for offering me the post. Carol Diamond is applying for a post, so the company can’t have offered it to her already.
Letter 2 – This company was founded in 2005. This is information that might be given in an interview. It isn’t relevant to an invitation to an interview. AND I wish you every success for the future. This would only be relevant if the letter was to tell Carol Diamond that she hasn’t been offered the job.
Letter 3 – According to her CV she plays tennis in her spare time. David Preston is asking Carol’s line manager for a reference about her work. Her hobbies aren’t relevant to the job of web designer. AND We are a very successful company. This has nothing to do with the enquiry about Carol’s work.
Writing 2 - Exercise 2
Letter 1 – According to the first sentence, the company has already been chosen for the award. A
better sentence might be As well as the award itself you will receive a cheque for £500.
Letter 2 – In Kelly Whitwell’s letter she asked Dominic James to give a short talk. A better sentence would say if he is prepared to do this or not, e.g. I shall be delighted to give a short talk during the evening.
Letter 3 – Central heating isn’t equipment for a talk. A better sentence might be: Please let me know if you need any equipment for your talk, such as a projector or laptop.
Letter 4 – There are three obvious problems. Firstly, Dominic James doesn’t respond to Kelly
Whitwell’s question about whether he will need any equipment. Secondly, she has asked him to limit the number attending the event to three including himself, but he lists three people in addition to himself. Thirdly, he asks how much the cheque will be for, but she has already told him.
An example of a better Letter 4:
I would like to talk about new export opportunities, if you think that would be interesting for the audience. Could you provide a whiteboard, please?
Two of my colleagues will attend the event, as well as me: the finance and human resources directors.
We are looking forward to the evening.
Writing 2 - sample Task
Dear Mrs Bennett
Thank you for your letter. We are interested in your CV, and would like you to come in for an interview at 9.30 on 4 April. Please confirm that this is convenient.
Could you please send us the names and addresses of your last line manager and of a personal referee, as soon as possible?
The easiest way to reach our office is by underground, as we are situated very close to Notting Hill station.